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Aliens – The Greens and the Grays

f_0_alien2_g_320The idea that extra-terrestrials might exist is one of those things that has always fascinated earthlings over the years. It is man’s curious nature to ponder on the mysteries of the universe and our galaxy. Although there have been discoveries of alien life, none have come to the forefront of the public as resembling humans. From UFOs to apparent alien bodies, extra-terrestrial, often menacing, invasions have been a mainstay in contemporary media. They are here to stay in more ways than one.

After the 1947 Roswell, New Mexico incident that sparked new interest, belief and skepticism in alien life on earth, an elaborate hoax was performed involving an alien autopsy.  In 1995, the 17-minute film was broadcast to television sets across the nation fueling conspiracy theories. The bodies of the depicted alien autopsy were said to be fabricated using intestinal organs that were actually sheep brains in raspberry jam and chicken intestines. The eyes were created with painted orange peels. Because the footage was taken in poor black-and-white quality, much of the authenticity of the supposed alien anatomical parts was mistakenly thought of as genuine. Ray Santilli later admitted the video was not original in 2006 but retained it was a reconstruction of a true video he had previously watched.

This particular alien adventure appear to have been truth embellished by a lie, but what about the sightings of the green and the gray, the big eyes, scrawny, slippery body aliens seen by millions? How do we deny those guys?

There is a certain protocol you must adhere to if you encounter either of them. Listen carefully, one day you might need to know. If you run across a green, just wave then walk away. The green might nod or even smile before it goes on about its business of gathering analytical samples of our planet. On the other hand, if you meet a gray, first you need to freak–while you are running your heart out. Don’t be like Herman Leo Dumbrownsky, who thought he could make friends with a gray.

These days, Herman’s wife, Lynda, has managed two visits in five years at the Lollapalooza Rehabilitation Center. The site of seeing her poor husband’s head and neck grafted onto the body of a bull massive is too un-nerving for her to handle—not a pretty site.

Imagine if you had to look at that: Herman, Leo Dumbrownsky’s head on a dog.

I know you’re probably wondering what did the grays do with Herman’s body? The answer might be in a government facility located somewhere in the north, in Alaska. It is rumored that scientists have assembled a band of oddity experiments that they torture regularly. It seems that a farmer found a creature having the head of a dog and the body of a… well, it’s clear whose body the dog was found wearing. Unfortunate for the creature, the farmer gave it to THE GOVERNMENT.

Once again, if you see a green, smile and wave, but if you see a gray, what should you do???